


Don't know what we were expecting but it wasn't this

by Hawkeye221b



Category: Hell's Kitchen (US TV) RPF, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Bakugou Friendship, Bakugou Katsuki is a Dork, Bakugou Katsuki is a Good Friend, Bakugou and Satou friendship, Bakusquad (My Hero Academia), Class 1-A Shenanigans (My Hero Academia), Crack Treated Seriously, Fanboy Bakugou Katsuki, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gordon Ramsey has a quirk, Gordon Ramsey is here, Gordon Ramsey roasts Endeavor, Mina is allowed in the kitchen but she's on thin fucking ice, Satou and Bakugou are cooking buddies, Shouto is innocent and no one wants to take that from him, The Bakusquad is banned from the Kitchen, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor Being An Asshole, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor's Bad Parenting, Todoroki Shouto is a Dork, Todoroki Shouto is a Sweetheart, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23504374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkeye221b/pseuds/Hawkeye221b
Summary: crackfic of Satou and Bakugou having a friendship over watching Gordon Ramsey.Hilarity ensues
Relationships: Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto
Comments: 27
Kudos: 282
Collections: Jeru's Top Fav My Hero Academia fics





	1. Unlikely Friendship

**Author's Note:**

> Idea from from the character discussions in the Endewhore Roasting server!! I had too much fun writing this

The Heights Alliance dorms of U.A were known to be bustling with students going about their days, wither it was aggressive homework sessions, grueling workouts, rhythmic hammering of inventions going awry, boisterous debates of business ethics or even calm study groups, the community of students was always bustling with life. This particular day, however, was exceptionally loud in the dorms of class 1-A, as there were shrieks of protest, confusion and miniature explosions followed by more yelling.

_“GET OUT OF MY WAY EXTRAS, IT’S ON!! DO **NOT** MAKE ME MISS THIS FUCKING SHOW. OI, CANDY MAN GET YOUR ASS IN HERE _**NOW!”**

Mina, who was watching in horrified fascination from the kitchen, quietly observed as Satou rushed into the dorm’s common area, practically throwing himself over the couch to sit beside the resident loudmouth, Katsuki Bakugou. The pair of boys hunkered together as the ashen blonde grabbed the remote and hastily turned the device on and through the channels before the logo he was searching for crossed the screen:

_“Hell’s Kitchen”_

Now the fact Bakugou would want to watch such a show was not improbable in Mina’s eyes, but the fact Bakugou was not only _allowing_ Satou of all people to watch with him, but to _actively **invite**_ was something Mina was not expecting. Mina however, was quickly distracted by her previous engagement of making curry, and the gruff remark of Bakugou pulled her back to that.

“Oi, Bubblegum Bitch! Don’t forget you’re on thin fucking ice… don’t fuck up the damn curry.”

Mina only laughed and continued on, knowing full well he was serious about her kitchen privileges. As she worked, the sound of Bakugou’s laughter filled the air whenever the loud chef insulted the contestants, adding in his own colorful commentary. Beside the explosive boy, Satou sat calmly, notebook and pencil in hand as he seemed to be taking notes of the show, remarks and even insults of Bakugou himself.

“Bakugou, why is using the fryer make them a “half-assed, double stuffed turkey looking idiot bitch” exactly?”

Mina found surprise in the fact Bakugou, rather than telling Satou to fuck off, sat down in a huff and aggressively pointed towards the screen.

“It’s a half-assed attempt to save their dish at best! Apply “Chopped” rules to it… they’re under pressure and a time limit, so they’re fucking rushing! The more you rush, the messier the dish gets! Just fucking watch, they’ll either forget about them until the last second or they put them in too late and they’ll be undercooked!”

Satou nodded in understanding as he made notes, scowling at the screen when someone began baking, surprising Mina with his own slew of colorful insults and critiques of dishes. As time passed and more episodes came by, Mina was enthralled with the dynamic between the two, and when the curry was done, Mina wordlessly handed a large bowl to Bakugou, placing the rest of it in the fridge for later as she made conversation.

“Satou, I didn’t know you and Bakugou were friends!! You should hang out with the squad more!!”

Bakugou looked up from his curry and frowned, giving Mina the stink eye.

“He _does_ Bubblegum… how the hell do you think Hair for Brains, Tape-ass and Shitty hair are still alive? I keep you dumbasses alive and focused during training, and he feeds you fuckers.”

Mina’s eyes widened and she sputtered slightly.

“Y-you didn’t think to _tell us?!?!_ And we’re not **_that_** bad!!”

Satou gave Mina a deadpan stare as Bakugou cackled.

“Mina, before I stepped in, you guys were living off of a stale bag of Doritos, mountain dew and a whole ass box of pizza rolls… You guys can’t take care of yourselves for shit. That’s why you’re on kitchen probation… and even then I’m hesitant to let you stay.”

Mina crossed her arms and puffed out her chest.

“Then why aren’t I banned from the kitchen?”

Satou pointedly looked at the curry Bakugou was eating, and the other boy simply nodded in agreement. Mina reluctantly accepted defeat and decided to change the subject.

“So… how long have you two been doing this Gordon Ramsey show thing? Looked like you two have a rhythm going with it…”

At that Satou smiled politely and spoke with a bit of cheer in his voice.

“Oh we’ve been watching since near the start of the school year! We’ve seen all of his shows and cameos… Bakugou and I even tried out some of his recipes a few weeks ago!”

“Ramsey is a fucking blessing, so don’t even _try_ to disrespect him Bubblegum Bitch!”

Mina’s eyes widened in surprise as Bakugou used the cook’s surname, rather than the at-this-point customary nickname/insult.

“A surname?? From you of all people?!? You must really like this guy!”

Bakugou grinned maniacally, setting his now-empty bowl down.

“He’s a fucking beast! His quirk, _Expiration,_ lets him know when food is ripe, about to go bad, or has gone bad just by looking at it! The man’s dealt with so much shit from dumbass, high-and-mighty extras, but he always puts them in their fucking place! It’s fucking amazing to watch, especially when the extras claim to be as good as him, cause nobody is! He’s like… the fucking All Might of cooking!”

Satou nodded again, smiling still.

“But he’s also very sweet and understanding… like when he’s around children who are cooking, he always make sure to help them and reassure them… he only yells at the adults because they claim to be professional, whereas children are still learning and need help. He gets that.”

Mina blinked slowly, nodding in careful understanding.

“I see… it sounds like you two really look up to him!”

Satou looked away bashfully but Bakugou grinned and nodded, simply stating;

“He’s Badass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i should clarify; Mina's only allowed in the kitchen cause Bakugou would literally kill for her curry.


	2. Meeting and Lesson

Over the next few months, several 1-A students would walk in on Bakugou and Satou’s TV sessions, none of whom had the courage to ask about it as Mina had, although the self-proclaimed “Bakusquad” _did_ notice the presence of Satou a bit more… particularly when Kaminari tried arguing he did not, in fact, need dinner.

“C’mon man… I’m fine!”

“Denki, I’ve seen your snack horde… you need actual food.”

“Bro, it’s fine!! Bakugou doesn’t care, so I’m okay!”

“Bakugou isn’t here, I am. Eat your fucking food.”

From the other room, the two could hear Bakugou yelling back to the mention of his name.

“LISTEN TO HIM AND EAT YOUR DAMN DINNER, PIKACHU!”

…Kaminari hadn’t won that battle… so all of 1-A was somewhat aware that Satou had joined Bakugou’s group, although none of them were entirely certain as to how… This dynamic continued for months until lunchtime one fateful day, when Satou recognized someone who was talking idly to Lunch Rush. As quietly as he could, he ran over to Bakugou and shook him, getting his attention with a hushed yell-whisper.

“Bakugou!! Bakugou look at Lunch Rush!! It’s _him!!!”_

Bakugou looked annoyed and angry for a moment before looking over hastily, confirming what the other said. In no time at all, he whipped out one of his recipe books ( that he did _not_ keep on hand for this exact moment, shut the fuck up Deku) and walked over briskly, Satou at his heels. Lunch Rush saw the two approach and was quite surprised when the explosive blond stopped at a respectable distance, clutching some kind of notebook. His friend had noticed the hero’s distraction and followed his line of sight to the two boys, and he gave them a polite smile.

“Hello there.”

Bakugou, though he’d never admit it, was too nervous to respond in that moment, so Satou spoke quickly, stepping forward slightly.

“Good Morning Chef… My friend and I are big fans of your shows!”

The man smiled more and crossed his arms slightly.

“Oh? Either of you fancy yourselves chefs?”

Satou smiled nervously, and jumped in slight surprise as Bakugou spoke up before he could resond.

“It’s a hobby I picked up… Satou’s more of a baker cause of his quirk.”

The chef smiled and looked at the blond…. Lunch Rush decided it was probably good to introduce the two.

“Er… Gordon, this is Satou and Bakugou... they’re in the Heroics department. Boys… you already seem to know Chef Ramsey… he’s a close friend of mine.”

“It’s nice to meet you boys. I was just discussing with Lunch Rush a potential lesson with the heroic’s classes! It’s optional, of course, but I hope to see you two there!”

It took everything Bakugou and Satou had to not pass out right then and there. Satou was grinning like an idiot and nodding firmly, while Bakugou seemed to go white with shock… Not wanting to prolong their welcome, Satou began excusing himself and Bakugou, only to find the other boy walk closer and give a bow of respect to the chef before speaking, holding out his book.

“You’re a fucking badass… can I have an autograph?”

The chef laughed loudly, agreeing and signing the book. Unseen to the chef, but most of 1-A (sans Shouto who had run off to the restroom and returned after Bakugou recovered his now-signed book) saw the exchange and the following collapse of one Izuku Midoriya, who could only say _“Kacchan… autograph????”_

Shouto returned after the fainting fit of Izuku, and only briefly saw Bakugou and Satou speaking to a plain-looking foreign man and Lunch Rush… He was rather confused but didn’t press the issue until the following day, when the same man appeared again for an optional cooking lesson. Shouto had agreed to go so he might learn how to make something other than Cold Soba for his visits to his mother. The man was strange to Shouto, as he was clearly kind to every student who showed extreme anxiety towards the situation and class, and the sample food the man prepared was quite delicious! The class, which was extended over a few weeks, first covered the basics of how to cook…

So of course Shouto had no idea what he was doing and somehow burnt water… it took the man maybe three minutes to explain how he’d done it and how to avoid doing it again to impress Shouto.

“You’re a very good cook Sensei… do you work in a restaurant or something?”

As he spoke, the jaws of the class hit the floor as it dawned on them all… _Shouto had no idea who Gordon Ramsey was_. Ramsey himself, thankfully, was rather amused at the question by the strangely down-to-earth child as he responded patiently.

“Something like that… you’re okay though! Just follow those steps and we’ll build up from there, okay?”

“That’s cool… and yes Sensei.”

Off to the side, Monoma from 1-B began snickering about “1-A idiots” … he did not, however, realize the chef had head him, and began rounding on him.

“Oi! You think this is funny?! You think this is a fucking game!?! At least that young man has the decency to be open and learn from his fucking mistakes! What about you, huh? Since you claim to know so much about cooking, why the hell is your water blackening the pot??? Huh?! C’mon, be honest you fucking panini head!”

Shouto watched in confusion for a moment, before noticing the gleam in Bakugou’s eyes as the man swore and berated the copy-cat… and then it clicked for him, as he turned to his partner, Midoriya.

“Oh, I see why Bakugou is happy now.”

Izuku tilted his head slightly.

“Oh?”

Shouto nodded solemnly and smiled lightly.

“It’s nice to see he takes after his father… and that he’d be willing to teach us for a while.”

Izuku… stopped functioning for a moment before his brain rebooted and he just… sighed in defeat.

“Shouto… no babe…. Just no.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shouto you idiot i love you.


	3. Unexpected Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shouto runs into Chef Ramsey again... and it's quite glorious

Shouto did not expect to see Ramsey-Sensei again, although he was still convinced Bakugou was his son… but here he was, sitting in some upscale restaurant for a hero appreciation banquet he was being forced to attend with his father and who does he see out of the corner of his eye but Ramsey-Sensei. Calmly and politely, Shouto waved at the man, who came running over, looking slightly confused.

“Hello again sensei! You work in a lovely restaurant… I would like to apologize in advance… my father doesn’t appreciate the effort staffers and cooks put forth, sadly.”

The chef opened his mouth to respond when his eyes landed on the “hero” approaching their table, a frown permanently residing on his face, growling slightly as he spoke.

“Ramsey… I see you’ve met Shouto… see to it you don’t ruin this mundane event with your tasteless cooking, will you?”

When Shouto gave him another apologetic glance, the man connected the dots… and boy did he let his anger show.

“You… _you’re this young man’s father?!?”_

Shouto and the other spoke at the same time in response.

“Of course I am!”

“Define “father”…?”

There was a pause from both adults before the “Hero” spoke sternly.

“Shouto, what did I say about your rebellious behavior?! Have I taught you nothing?”

Before Shouto could open his mouth, the Chef spoke again.

“No, you clearly haven’t! This boy is kind, caring and so, so, _so_ clueless when cooking! No offense, young man.”

“No troubles.”

The man smiled slightly before returning to his tirade, clearly pissed off.

“I TAUGHT A SMALL COURSE AT U.A, AND THAT POOR BOY KNEW NOTHING BUT COLD SOBA!!! **_SOBA!!!_** THAT BOY BURNED WATER! **_W A T E R!_** HE CERTAINLY DIDN'T LEARN SHIT FROM YOU AND YET YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO COME INTO _MY_ RESTAURANTS AND ALWAYS CLAIM **_MY_** CHICKEN IS TOO DRY? THE ONLY DRY THING HERE IS YOUR UGLY MUG! YOU GET YOUR FAT, DIRTY, DOUBLE TURKEY STUFFED ASS OUT OF MY RESTAURANT!”

By now most of the other guests were looking in their direction, quietly watching the fuming man yell at the flaming “hero” as the tirade continued further.

“Honestly!!! The poor boy was horrible, and very well could have burned a house down if he wasn’t careful, and I don’t mean with his fucking quirk!! How the hell did you raise such an angle of a child is beyond me!”

Shouto cut in politely, sipping his water as he did so.

“Oh, he didn’t. By the way, do you have children, by chance Ramsey-Sensei? You seemed quite at ease with us at U.A…Minus Monoma i mean, but he’s, as Bakugou would say, "a shitty extra"...”

Gordon paused, looking incredulously at the dual-haired boy who was so innocently sipping his drink and speaking politely… he really didn’t know how the two were related, but he smiled quietly and straightened himself out, speaking in an even tone.

“Yes well, your peer was acting as if he were a know it all adult, so I responded in kind… Endeavor, kindly leave this establishment… young man, you are more than welcome to stay.”

The “hero” was yelling and threatening all the way to the door, not bothering to see if Shouto was behind him until he was at the door, demanding he come to his side… Shouto only looked at the man and shook his head.

“I’d quite like to speak to Ramsey-Sensei further… I will see you afterwards.”

With that, he turned to the chef and looked around sheepishly, frowning slightly.

“I’m sorry again for him… you won’t get in trouble with the establishment’s owner, will you? I’d hate for him to ruin your career and have you out of a job… You’re a very good cook Sensei.”

Ramsey only laughed and ruffled his hair slightly, having realized at that point in time the young man had no idea he was famous… and decided it’d be best to keep it that way, for a while… let him have some form of innocence.

“No need to worry! I will be quite alright!”

Shouto looked at the man with concern but shrugged regardless and, with the chef’s subtle help, had a very pleasant evening and remained none the wiser as to the man’s status…

In fact, Shouto would only see the man several weeks later on TV, _finally_ walking in on Bakugou and Satou’s show marathons. At seeing the man, Shouto would stare, and everyone in the vicinity would pause in horror, certain he would realize the man was a celebrity… until he opened his mouth.

“Oh, Ramsey-Sensei is on TV… that’s nice. He’s a nice man… I hope it helps his business…”

Shouto would walk away calmly, clearly satisfied with this turn of events and continue to collect evidence to support his theory of Bakugou and Ramsey being biological son and father… because he simply couldn’t see any of his “Father” Masaru in Bakugou…

And Izuku didn’t have the heart or strength to fight him on that either…


End file.
